Before and after.
We see them every day. Before and after morning shower, before party and morning after, before and after new haircut, before you hear “I love you” for the first time, and right after… and thousand more examples that I can but would not write because I’ll run out of space on the page.
We are fluid ever-changing beings, our appearance shift and change from morning to evening, from year to year.
Yet we have internal constant, almost unchangable self image. A dot on a scale. Plus, zero or minus if you think in black and white. That image dictates how people see us. It is not make-up/hair/new dress. People see through all this. They see you the way you see yourself. Hard cold truth.
I propose a challenge – when you are alone, go to the mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and say “I am beautiful”. And wait and listen for what is inside. Observe your thoughts. If you can not even say it out loud, you are not alone. It is hard. Many feel like a big fat liar. I do. If you are in this group, you know – work needs to be done. You owe it to your loved ones. You owe it to your soulmate, who still manage to love you with love bigger than yours for yourself; you owe it to your children, because you will pass your self-image as legacy to them.
There are many ways that will help: self-affirmations, counseling, practicing mindfulness, etc. Gestalt for staying in the moment, CBT for challenging irrational thinking, psychoanalysis for getting to the roots, etc. As licensed professional counselor I’d say – therapy is marvelous, and everyone can benefit from it.
And there are portraits. I could not help but notice how powerful they are in shifting self image. There is something magical and anchoring in firm knowledge that you can look as good as the models in a magazine, or ladies in the portraits in an art museum. If and when you want to.
I want every woman to have beautiful portrait of herself. It will work its magic day after day.
It is internalization of positive self image. It feels freeing. It moves the dot to the right. It gives radiance no matter the face you wake up with. See yourself through loving eyes. You deserve it.